Granny's Gossip Group
by 7Seven7
Summary: Even though the curse is breaking, the talk of the town is a Pharmacy purchase made by our lovely Sheriff Emma Swan. Is there a pregnancy in Storybrooke? Who's the daddy? The crowd down at the diner sure love to put in their two-cents.


A/N: ok, it's not totally canon to what will probably be going down at the beginging of S2, but this takes place after the season 1 finale. I wrote it in 30 minutes and my spell check's not working, so don't hate on it if the quality's rough. PLEASE REVIEW!

In decisions so great as these, one can never weigh their decisions too carefully. You must gather all the information you can and make a wise, educated choice based on it. This is the strategy Granny used today, in this dire situation: Cotonell or Angel Soft. She had spent the past 7 minutes standing in the middle of the toiletries isle attemting to make the executive decision. She had evaluated price, coupons, thickness, strength, and softness. In the end, there would be only one lone victor to earn a place in the diner bathroom.

As she looked between the two brands again, she took a step back, as if the new distance from the shelf would give her a new outlook on the products. As she steped back she knocked the goods out of another shopper's basket. She quickly bent down, ignoring the limiataions from her Arthritis, and began to pick up the items that had fallen from both the shelf behind them and from the other shopper's carrier.

"My apologies, Sheriff, I didn't see you there!" She apologized quickly.

"That's fine, I'm in no rush" Emma said kindly to the grandmotherly woman. As Emma restocked a fallen toothpaste display, Granny replenished her cart with her belongings. She put in the chips, ketchup, milk, shampoo, pregnancy test, deoderent- wait, what was that? Granny did a double take at the bin to make sure she had seen correctly. Her eyesight may not be what it used to but she could still read. Her eyes wandered over to the possibly expecting Sheriff as she put the item back into the basket. Emma had not noticed Granny's discovery, she was still turned around fixing the shelves she had disrupted.

Once they had finished clearing the isle, they parted ways and wished each other a good day. As soon as Emma was on her way, Granny quickly grabbed the Cotonell and purchased it- toilet paper choice no longer mattered, she had an inside scoop the small crowd at the diner would _love_ to gossip over.

Granny entered the diner and slid behind the counter, where Ruby was refilling Leroy's drink; probably alcoholic and probably not his first of the day. She looked at him annoyed, he knew she hated when Ruby served him this early in the day.

"It's five o'clock somewhere" he shrugged.

She gave him a scolding look and then remembered why she had been so excited to return to work.

"So, guess who I saw at the Pharmacy?" Granny asked Ruby in a voice that told Ruby she must have something juicy.

"Who?" Ruby inquired.

"Sheriff Swan" She informed her. Ruby looked a bit disappointed; this was not news. "Guess what she was buying" Granny added.

"What?" Ruby asked inquisitively.

Granny looked around her to make sure she had an appropriatly sized audience, and when she decided she had enough viewers, her show began. "A home pregnancy test."

"No way! Do you think she's pregnant?" Ruby asked.

"Well clearly _she_ does, unless she's buying a test for the hell of it" Leroy chimed in.

"I wonder who the father is!" Ruby thought out loud. "Do you think it could be Graham?"

"She slept with Graham?" Granny asked.

"I don't know, but that little spat they had a few nights before he died seemed an awful lot like a lover's quarrel"

Granny shook her head. "No, Graham died five months ago. She'd be showing by now"

"What about that new guy in town?" Sydney Glass asked as he rose from his table and walked over to join the gossip group at the bar. "What's his name, August?"

"You think that writer guy nailed her?" Leroy asked as he finished off his drink and gave Ruby a heads up, signifying he was ready for a refill.

"They _have_ been awefully close lately, I feel like I always see them eating together" Ruby replied. "And she did tell me that just before she broke the curse, August turned into wood…I didn't know she meant it as a euphemism-"

"Ruby!" Granny cut off. "Sorry, sorry. Just saying!" Ruby defended.

"Maybe it's David's" Leroy piped up.

"Nolan?" Sydney asked confused.

"Sure. Cheated on his wife with Emma's roommate, clearly the guy doesn't put too much strain on the concept of commitment. Maybe Mary Margret's late getting home one night, David gets lonely, one thing leads to another…after all, blondes are clearly his type, he did marry one" Leroy explained.

"Leroy, that's disgusting! Emma's his _daughter_!" Ruby gagged.

"Oh yeah, that's right. Hm, I must be so drunk that I forgot we remember" he shrugged as he began his new drink. "Then maybe it's Dr. Whale's. She is _awfully_ gratful to him for taking such good care of Henry while he recovered from dying"

"Oh Ruby, what was it you heard her and Mary Margret talking about a few weeks back, right after she was released from jail?" Granny asked.

"Oh yeat! Ok, so apparently, when Mary Margret was in jail, she managed to escape the night before her arraignment, and Emma had to go look for her before she was due in court. From the parts of the story I heard, they got kidnapped by this pyscopath in the woods" Ruby explained.

"How?" Sydney inquired.

"Well, he found Mary Margret running in the forest and tied her to a chair in some backroom, but he faked being injured so Emma would drive him home, then drugged her tea and tied her up on his sofa. I didn't hear the end of her story, but there was a bunch of it that Emma was trying to avoid. You don't think he…took _advantage_ of her, do you?" Ruby asked sadly.

"Oh, that's awful, I should hope not!" Granny responded.

"You guys, I don't really think this is any of our buisness" Dr. Hopper chimed in. he had been trying to keep out of the conversation, hoping it would end soon, but when it didn't he decided he needed to defend the Sheriff's privacy.

"Maybe it's not even for her, maybe it's for Mary Margret! After all, David's divorce is final, 'Snow' and 'Charming' just remembered they're each other's true love, maybe they got carried away one night and forgot to wear-"

"-Ruby, let's keep it PG in here" Granny scolded.

"And Mary did go on that date with Dr. Whale a few months ago, remember?I thought that was just a one time thing, but maybe I was wrong" Ruby wondered.

"Miss Swan's temper is certainly short now, I'd hate to encounter her pregnant" Mr. Gold said as he entered, as if he'd been listening for some time. The group wondered how he even knew what they were talking about, but quickly remembered he was Rumplestiltskin, he had mysterious ways.

He chivalrously pulled out a chair for Belle, and handed her a menu. She looked better kempt than yesterday; Ruby noted mentally that she must have found a brush.

"Can you imagine how excited Henry would be if he had a little brother or sister?" Ruby asked.

"We still don't know if it's even for Emma. Maybe Henry's going to be a… nephew?" Granny asked, making sure she had the family tree correct if Snow was with child. "Yes, nephew"

"Well," Mr. Gold announced, "We'll find out when someone grows a fairly large stomach, won't we?"

0O0o0O0

"Hey" Emma said as she entered the apartment carrying a bag of groceries. "I stopped at the Pharmacy on my way home and grabbed some stuff"

Mary Margret walked over to her and assisted her in unloading the groceries. She grabbed the Milk and brought it to the refrigerator as Emma emptied out the bag. She grabbed the small, thin cardboard box that tumbled out.

Emma laughed to herself. "I was wondering why my total was about twenty bucks more than I had estimated" She said as she showed the box to Mary Margret, who caught it, read the label, and looked up quizzically at Emma.

"Something you're not telling me?" She asked as she peered around the counter to get a better look at her roommate's stomach.

"I bumped into Granny at the store; this must have fallen off the shelf and got mixed up with my things. Trust me, there's no virgin birth going on around here"

Mary Margret laughed a little too hard at that.

"Hey!" Emma defended, offended.

"Emma, _virgin birth_? You have a kid!" She said as she gestured to a photo of Henry on the refrigerator.

"I mean virgin in the since that I'm not getting laid" Emma explained as Mary Margret's brow creased. "Emma…." She chided at Emma's language motherly.

"Sorry, sorry" Emma apologized. "Geeze, I hope Granny didn't see it, or they'll be having a field day down at the diner"


End file.
